Bear Nuts: A Pungent Potluck
by StoticM
Summary: How can a wonderful afternoon with food, friends, and fun turn sour? Updated. 5/28


_100...150...200..._ Sugar looked up briefly at the door. The bar was as lively as a school on Saturday. It was quiet and she hated it. An annoyed groan escaped from her throat as she continued to count the money from the day before. _250...300..._ She paused again, something wasn't right.

"It's Monday every slob should be here…" She said aloud.

She walked to the end of the room where jukebox resided and opened the safe beside it. The inside was charred but it still was functional. Something new caught her eye inside the safe, it was an old, tattered blue ribbon. The ends of it were blackened. And another piece of clothing, a red belt with two black stripes. She quickly threw the money in the safe and shut it without glancing at the items, then walked to one of the tables near a window and sat inside.

 _First and foremost on the list of crap to get done, buy a new phone. Second, fix the window._

She glanced out and saw some animals riding an ATV across the grounds. She lazily leaned back in her seat and glanced over the counter and into the kitchen. Her stomach growled loudly. _I could make my six bean medley...She licked her lips hungrily as the_ sounds of footsteps drew her attention.

The source of the sounds were coming from the basement. A loud creaking sound came from the door and she glanced to over to see her father and brother coming up the stairs, both of them had bits of dust and dirt in their fur. She saw this and scowled out the window bitterly. _Next time I see that blueberry-coloured chump, I'll smack him up side his head. At least the other one cleaned the floor and the toilet, and he had no plunger-Note to self: buy plungers._

"This place is DEAD." Spice stated as he wiped combed through his messy spiky hair.

Their father looked at the safe briefly before going to the counter, he pulled out a glass and started to polish it.

Sugar noticed his "Brilliant observation, tell me something I don't know". Sugar smiled smugly. Her brother rose his brow dubiously.

"How much do you want to hear?" Spice smirked as leaned back on the counter.

Sugar chuckled. "Ha ha, you grew a spine". She waved for him to come over as she continued to glance over into the Kitchen. Spice rolled his eyes and started to walk to the table, he stood beside her. She narrowed her brow at his attitude and shrugged as she looked at him cautiously. He glanced at her absently and noticed her attentive gaze.

"What?" He asked raising his brow.

She tapped her nose blatantly as her eyes wondered to the counter glancing at their father. He remained unaware, and uninterested in their conversation.

"How is IT?" She inquired quietly. He didn't follow.

She tried again.

"The itching stop?" She asked.

He squinted, he was a couple of nights ago, but why was she asking now?

"You aren't feeling buggy?" She said quietly.

He narrowed his brow dubiously.

"Oh my god, just-" She watched her father go into the safe and place something inside.

"You know what forget it. Last time I try to see if your alright you stupid dope f-."She felt her side vibrate and quickly grabbed her pager. She glared hopefully at the device but grew dour as she read it: _Can't find a buyer yet, TTYL_.

She sighed defeated. No business, no customers, and no income.

"Is there any _good_ news today?" She groaned as she held her head in frustration.

Spice cupped his chin and tapped her shoulder causing her look up with an annoyed expression.

"Well, there's something special going on today in the park." Spice replied.

She glanced at her brother with genuine curiosity. "Oh really now, what is it, Sherly?" He gave her sour look as he furrowed his brow. She grinned maliciously in delight. "It's TOO easy with you. Soooo, details. What's going down and how can I profit from it?"

"One, there's no profit." He stated bluntly.

"Then your as useless as the banana-coloured thong I found in our cage." She said while looking at him dubiously raising a single eyebrow. He blushed as red as an apple and glared at her furiously. "Classy by the way." She said in a casual tone.

He sighed vexed at his sisters jeers. "It's a pot luck, some animals bring in some food and we relax and provided no one crashes it."

"Uh huh". She replied dejected looking out the window.

He looked at her sternly, "You know it's no skin off your nose if you come with me." He prodded her shoulder.

"No thanks." She waved off his touch disinterested.

"It'll be fun." He smiled genuinely.

She continued to look out the window ignoring his pleading. However, their father spoke up as he placed his glass down. "Maybe you both should go". Bart said. He looked unsure but he meant well.

"I'd rather watch the bar." Sugar replied in a huffed tone.

Spice leered at her knowingly. "That's a load of-"

"I'll take over for the day." Bart interrupted. "Besides, you both could use some fresh air once in a while." He suggested as he pulled out a silver mixer and pour a bottle into the sliver tin. They both stared at their father, one had a blissful expression while the other gave a displeased scowl.

Sugar held out her paws in desperation.

"But-"

"Come on, what's the matter? Scared of a little social interaction?" He gave her a positively shit-eating grin as She glared at him with a flat, dead expression on her face. She could punch him right now…

"Fine." She said crossing her arms.

"Hell yeah! A break from salty tomato soup." He pumped his fist in joy.

She gave a woeful pout in response, "I make good soup."

Spice narrowed his brow and stuck out his tongue. "When you've had it for the tenth time it loses its flavor." She got up from her seat and rose her fist. Their father shook his head.

"Behave..." Bart stared at the two sternly.

She scowled at him for a moment, his green eyes were lively again.

"Oh I almost forgot, you need to make something so we can actually eat…" Spice chuckled.

She pointed at him while narrowing her brow threateningly. "Your lucky I was going to make something".

* * *

It was a warm afternoon, the air was crisp and brisk as the two pushed a silver cart with a pot on it across the zoo grounds. They were getting closer to the park as they past a couple of benches and bushes along the way. Spice glanced over the cart he squinted curiously at the park up ahead.

"So I'm fine now. No side effects from the drugs. Aside from some itches here there. Like you said." He kicked away a can on the ground as they continued to walk. Sugar glared back at the monkey.

"Wow, it took you that long to figure it out." Sugar pulled the cart carefully as she avoided a rock on the paved grounds.

"Hey...Dad was there, you want him knowing I almost got shot and fell into a box of drugs?"

She frowned in response. "I gave you clear outs to take in our conversation."

"And they were cryptic." His excuse fell on deaf ears as she rolled her eyes and glanced to see various animals in the park; A boar, a kangaroo, a couple of monkeys, she rolled her eyes again, and small gorillas? They were relaxing in the shade under some trees, she noticed two more bears as well as the others were grouped together tightly around their dishes. The way the tables were placed you could walk straight down the middle and see each dish from each side. As her eyes wondered she noticed two the apes were just glaring over to her general direction, it was creepy.

They weren't emoting or trying to start a conversation with the animals that past them, just clear, hostile, blank expressions. They both stopped near the entrance of the park as her brother stretched out his arms and legs.

"How's the grub, can you see anything?" Spice asked.

She peered over to the middle of the park, there were aluminum trays on the park picnic tables.

"I can't see shit." She replied bitterly, an outright lie. If he wanted to see something then do it himself.

"Man your useless, I'll take a look then." Spice climbed up the cart. "Well, I can't immediately tell what they've got". He placed his paws over his like he was using binoculars.

"Shocker, what a surprise". She replied with a deadpan look whole fixing the red bow on her head. He saw some of the animals holding a blue book in the shade conversing with one another. His eyes shifted around the tables, he could only make out two dishes; apple pie, and cookies.

 _There's gotta be something better_. He thought.

He scanned the area, shifting from table to table again. He came up short. None of the another animals opened their trays yet. His eyes stopped elsewhere as he saw a yellow bear wearing a purple vest with a large picnic basket and clothes on a hanger in his other arm. Another bear was carrying a tin with gloves behind him.

 _That looks promising_. He licked his lips hungrily.

His gaze shifted to a tree, his eyes widen in horror as he saw a gorilla and two koala's making their way toward them. He recognized one of them, the younger one out of the two. "No No! SHIT, it's her, I'm out!" He yelled hysterically. "I ditched patrols for your hide. I'm not getting beaten by gorilla's!" He said.

Sugar rose her brow dubiously. "What are you-"

Her brother was gone, he vanished from atop the cart.

He ditched her.

She grinded her teeth. "You son of a b-" A large shadow loomed over causing her to glance at the two gorillas staring her down with melancholic expressions.

"Huh, could've sworn they were two of them?" One of the Koala's said, she glanced at the monkey and rose her brow. She was clearly older than the other one due to her wrinkles on her face. The koala had her hair done up in a bun at the top of her head.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll find him later, lollygagger." The younger one said.

Sugar coughed briefly before waving casually at the two. She eyed the both of them curiously.

"I remember you... Audrey was it?" She recognized her from the award ceremony crowd.

She turned to the other one oddly.

"Your...Athe-y something? Crap, you both look alike." She could see her hair pinned into a knot at the back of the her head, a single pin held it in.

 _My mistake_.

The other koala was holding a tin filled with cookies and a belt with baton on her left and a cellphone on her right.

"Funny, I could say the same about you and your brother...And the other monkeys around here". She exposited callously.

Sugar narrowed her brow. _Noted_.

"Athena be nice. She's a guest...Did she bring _good_ food?" Audrey glanced at the tin.

"Six bean medley." She replied dryly.

"Fantastic!" Audrey clasped her hands together.

"Put it with the rest..." She whispered to gorillas. The prime apes picked up the cart and brought it over with the rest of the food.

"What's up with them?" Sugar asked.

"Security measures, can't be too careful." Athena stated.

"Riiight. I'm gonna go follow my-" Audrey quickly stepped in front of her blocking her way. She scowled at the sudden intrusion.

"Ah, ah, ah." Audrey wagged her finger. "You need to try the food first."

"I am." She narrowed her brow.

"But not your own. That would be rude." Audrey pouted she reached into the tray Athena had and.

Sugar gave a flat expression, "Look, I don't- HRG!" The Koala shoved a cookie in her mouth.

"Here, try our cookies they're delicious!" Audrey stated proudly.

Sugar chewed the food slowly, it tasted bitter, wet and spicy? It reluctantly went down her throat. Sugar gave the woman a cold stare.

"What is this?" She asked sticking her tongue out.

"Ohhh, it's my special gluten free-"

"It tastes like the physical manifestation of used gym shorts dipped in soy sauce...Where's the water?"

"How do you know what that tastes like?" Athena said with a soft chuckle as Audrey narrowed her brow vexed.

"The punch will be here accordingly...Have some more food." She gave a bitter grin.

"You want me to eat more crap don't you?" She didn't bother answering her.

"Fine," Sugar stated as she knew Audrey wasn't going to move aside.

"Let me show you what's available..." She walked ahead with Athena in tow.

 _I'll make sure the punch it takes much longer to come_. Just for you… She chuckled to herself cheerily As Athena spoke to Sugar.

"Don't mind her, she gets crabby if you insult her cooking, or taste in music." She stated.

"Come along, NOW!" She yelled from a picnic table.

The smell of baked goods filled the air, it was tantalizing. Aroma almost made Sugar's mouth water as they made it to another table.

 _Maybe this won't be a terrible experience_. She thought.

"Right here we have some apple pie; the next table has some lemon squares-Ooh! We have delicious brownies and-"

She started to ignore her prattling. However, what caught her eye brought a wily smile across her face. "Hey, Auddie. What's that he's serving?" She pointed to a tree on the left side, under it were a pink, and violet coloured bear. The violet coloured one had tears of joy streaming down her face, while the other one gave indifferent look at there waiter: A black bear.

He bent down handing the two plates with steaming hot food. He was wearing a white tuxedo vest and a red tie, she could see the red fabric trailing around his neck. And his left arm had a yellow scarf wrapped around it. They all started to chatter amongst themselves, The black bear rolling eyes with a mild expression at the pink one as she gave him a playful jab at his chest.

"Oh..." She paused for a moment before Athena walked toward them furtively creeping up to the bears.

"Hey sleepy." Sugar snapped her fingers abruptly snapping her out her trance.

"Yes, yes...It's spaghetti or whatever…" She watched her companion closely as she waved off Sugar. She scowled ind disdain at the woman ignoring her, gain. She glanced over and watched the other Koala approach the bears.

Athena made her to the bear's calmly, causally, making sure she wasn't too obvious. As she got closer to the bear she noticed his ears twitch and quickly rushed behind him. The bear glanced over his shoulder slightly to see the new animal behind him, her arm over his shoulder and above his head. He noticed the baton on her side, then looked up to see a camera above him from his left side and before he could ask she took a photo of him with her phone. "Thanks, bye!" She quickly rushed back to Audrey and Sugar with her photo.

Sara noticed and snorted. "Aren't you popular?"

Fighter narrowed his brow and growled annoyed.

Cara started to eat her food, and grinned. "This is good!" She glanced at Fighter knowingly.

"Of course it was, Gay made it." Sara stated.

Fighter rose his brow mischievously, holding back a chuckle. He picked at his neck…Only to get a cookie thrown upside his head. He peered over to his right to see Gay at their picnic bench folding his arms. He smiled innocently at the bear, then looked back at the trio in the middle of the park.

"Are you sure you don't want something here, a pie maybe a square?" Audrey showed her the pie she leaned over to Athena. "Get me a copy of that".

 _Athena narrowed her brow. You know full well it's not for you._

Sugar glanced at them both. "Sorry, but I need something warm in me that won't wriggle its way back up my stomach." She saw worms crawling in the pie and shuddered.

Athena grabbed the plate of pie from her. "If she wants to something else then let her, she's free to choose". She leered at Audrey knowingly, she sighed defeated.

"Right, sorry". She bowed apologetically.

"Oh, and don't forget we're having a book review a later". Audrey glanced at her daughter prudently as Athena gave the koala a blue book, she looked embarrassed as she glanced back at her.

Sugar squinted confused, "Uhhh, I'm not-"

"It's fine if you haven't read it. It's a special novel." Audrey stated with a bit more pride.

"Not to mention it was last minute." Athena added giving her an inquisitive look.

"I gave them a week." Audrey rose her brow dubiously as Sugar looked around for her pot.

"I'd rather eat and leave…" She glanced back to a picnic table with the pot she brought. The simian was about to make a beeline to her food. She walked a considerable distance from them as Audrey glared behind her.

"Insufferable…" Athena placed her paw on his shoulder.

"Relax, not everyone here is interested in the novel. It's not-"

Audrey rose her finger to her lips.

"Please don't bother. Besides..."

The next words that came out her mouth made Sugar stop, dead on her tracks.

"I don't expect much from the daughter of a shabby drunkard."

Sugar blinked, the words started to set in.

Drunk...

"What... the _FUCK_ , did you just say!" She blurted out turning around suddenly.

The other animals glanced over to the disturbance in the middle of the park curiously.

The duo glanced at the monkey, Audrey had a shocked look on her face while Athena looked disinterested, she sighed and reached for her weapon.

"Oh-"

Audrey couldn't get another word.

"Shut the hell up, you bell-bottom bitch!" Sugar pulled off her bow.

A snicker came from Sara as she bit into her meat ball, she looked at down at the plate and smiled pleased before she felt her sister pulling her aside. "Oh come on!" She yelled out.

"Do you want to be in the middle of it, or watch it from a safe distance?" She said.

She paused a moment before nodding and got up from the tree to walk to safety, leaving a plate behind.

Fighter shook his head and walked to intercept the angry simian.

"I don't like getting my hands dirty, but I'll gladly make an exception for you!" She sneered then clenched her fist as she walked forward, only to be blocked by the suited bear. "You want to be a peacekeeper now? Don't think I wont clock you".

"Would you like some food, you seem tired." He bowed and showed her a plate with food.

She pushed it aside and pointed her finger in his chest. "Move, asshole!"

He sighed knowing this would get worse if it was drawn out further. The animals present staring to converse,

"Hey isn't she that…"

"Yea, works at the bar…"

She didn't care about the others opinions. She just wanted to deck the old koala in her nose. The bear could see the anger in her eyes,

"Don't do this...You'll regret it." Fighter stated.

She narrowed her brow.

"Do you really want to do this?" His voice was faint.

"She's asking for a boot up her-"

"If it's for a good reason sure, slug it out. But don't mess with someone who has connections…Especially if they got muscle behind them." He narrowed his brow cautiously.

She looked at him with a bemused look.

 _A police wannabe, please I can handle her...But not her posse...Shit._

Sugar glanced up at the bear. "Cute, your worried about me." A snide grin formed from her lips.

"Truthfully, I could care less." He gave her an unreadable expression.

She cringed slightly hurt at the comment.

 _Ouch_.

"But I rather not see you beaten with a baton. Or worse."

"Oh please it's a piece of wood." She stated.

He narrowed his brow and sighed. "If so dead-set on punching an older woman..." He stepped back, leaving a clear opening for her. She stepped forward, "But really why give a her _easy_ reason to inspect your 'home'. Maybe cause more of hassle for you?" He spoke directly into her ear and gave her a smug look.

She glared at the bear petulantly stopping in her tracks. "I hate when you make sense".

"It had to happen eventually." He grabbed her with one arm and dragged her to toward Gay's table.

She noticed the animals wondering eyes and scoffed. "The next time you wanna spread shit, aim for the TOILET!" She replied raising her middle finger up defiantly.

"That's…A colorful metaphor." Fighter squinted as continued to drag her she saw Athena relax as she withdrew her paw from her side.

Audrey snickered mockingly holding her paw over her mouth, earning a deathly glare from Sugar.

As they reached the table she pulled her arm out of the bear's grip. "Freaking-Ugh, what's do you call someone with a broom stuck up their ass?"

"Pretentious?" Gay Stated bluntly.

"Pompous?" Fighter added.

"Cara..." Sara stated as she smiled slightly. Her sister narrowed her brow at her sibling.

"One of them-" Her stomach started to gurgle loudly, her glare was now focused on her belly.

"Eat this before you start a brawl on an empty stomach." Fighter handed her the plate again, she noticed his paws were wrapped up in bandages.

"What? Can't wait to fight again?" She smirked smugly.

He gave her deadpan look. "No. I had a _disagreement_ between an acquaintance."

She looked at the bear suspiciously. Sara and Gay chuckled softly at the bear's comment.

"Wow, what a polite way to say you fought Evil." Gay stated.

"Technically, it wasn't a fight". He asserted.

He gave Sugar a plate and a fork.

"Anyone gonna tell me what happened or are we gonna play a game of Guess Who right now?" Sugar tilted her head with a frustrated look.

Gay tilted his head inquisitively remembering the events vividly. "Well, it all started this morning in the kitchen. I had just managed to finish making the cookie dough..."

* * *

 _Moments before:_

I shut the oven door, reached over the hot pot and turned it on. Inside the oven were a pan of cookies, alongside another pan of freshly made meatballs, grabbing an egg timer on the kitchen counter I set the time and placed it down.

"How long now?" He said.

I rolled my eyes and glanced at Lech. He had flour on his hands and on his face.

"20 minutes." I said flatly. Lech groaned impatiently. "You can wait. Besides, you've had your fun already. This place is mess because of you and Fighter flicking flour at each other."

I glared at him.

….

"Wait, the big-blue-idiot helped you cook?" Sara looked at her plate suspiciously.

"Don't interrupt me. I'm getting to the good part". Gay continued.

Sara gave the plate to her sister, she grabbed the plate and continued where her sister left off.

"As I was getting ready to check the spaghetti in the pot a certain someone entered the kitchen…"

….

"Grub smells good, what's the occasion?" Evil said he looked around the messy kitchen and smirked.

"None of your business." I replied tartly.

"Gaylord's making cookies for a potluck in the park." Lech blurted out.

I glared at Lech. "There goes half of your share of chocolate chip cookies." I grinned coyly, I made sure he'd regret the costly error. Lech went bug-eyed before regaining his composure and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever" He said looking out into the living room.

"Sooo, what's so special about this get together?" Evil asked.

"It's none of your business". I turned to open the pot and grabbed a large spoon. I stirred it around it, I remember the sauce was creamy and thick. I was about to bring it to my lips when there was a bit of noise. I heard the creaking of shelves opening and closing. I assumed Lech was looking for something to eat, unfortunately I was wrong.

"Lech your not-" Evil was right behind me with a box that had a tacky skull and crossbones on it. I glanced back to see Lech nowhere to be found.

 _Typical_.

I thought a scolding hot dousing of broth would deter him. But he grabbed my arm before I could flick the broth on his face.

"I'm sure you wouldn't want your had work to be wasted?" He smirked smugly shaking the box for emphasis. I kept silent as I lowered the spoon back into the pot. "Are you THAT paranoid I'd ruin the event?"

I gave him a deadpan expression.

"Fair point". He replied.

"Oh and this isn't my dish." I placed my paw on my chest as I glanced at kitchen counter.

 _Brrrrring_!

The timer went off as I reached for the dial to turn off the oven.

I assume Evil had dubious look on his face. "Then who's-"

I grinned giddily at what happened next.

"Hello there _, frrriend."_ Fighter had gripped the bear's shoulder calmly.

….

"After that there was a struggle but Fighter and Lech managed to lock him up."

"Where did you put that psycho?" Sara asked.

Gay glanced over Fighter knowingly, he scowled immediately as he saw his necktie left open.

"We strapped him to a rack in Gimp's room". He replied.

"Kinky." Sugar slurped up her food messily. "This shit is delicious...Love the cheese".

"Umm, thanks, wasn't anything special. It's fettuccine something..." Fighter said causally as she devoured the meatball whole and continued to scour the plate for more meat, not caring about the other's glancing at her for her poor manners.

 _Huh, sounds Italian_ … She thought.

Another gurgling sound came from one of them, the pink one furrowed her brow at her sister finishing her plate. Gay gave her a cookie, "Wouldn't want your stomach interrupting the book review." She grabbed the cookie reluctantly. She stared at it before biting into the cookie and making a pleased sound.

The yellow bear walked over to the black bear and leaned in to fix his tie.

"No. No-no-no, Stop it". Fighter tilted his head away childishly from Gay's reach earning a fed up look. "It feels like this thing is strangling me."

"You need to look presentable."

"It's not like anyone would care, I doubt anyone would remember me or even my name." Fighter replied.

Gay gave a sour look. "That's because you didn't tell them." He then smiled coyly.

"Hi there my name is Fighter~" He said in a flowery tone with his paw out. "Oh that's a lovely hat you have". He pointed to his head as Fighter gave a bemused expression, he was enjoying this. "Oh ho ho ho!" Gay gave a hearty chuckle.

"That sounds incredibly forced." Fighter cracked a smile just as he felt Sara place her paw at the back of his head keeping him in place. Gay took the chance to grab his tie and fix it as he patted his chest.

"Anti-social, join the club." Sugar stated she licked her lips.

"Eh, not entirely. It's- how do I describe this?" He cupped his chin pensively.

"I need social interaction but I hate being around large groups...I'm I normal?" He squinted unsure.

"Your normal, just fake it." Sara stated flatly.

"Ugh, you two are both hopeless." Gay face palmed frustrated with the two.

"Honestly, I'm lucky you guys are here, otherwise I'd be starving here, the rest of the food here looked like crap." Sugar laid back on the grass, _Where the heck did that clod go?_ She stared back at the entrance bitterly.

"I'm sure you overreacting, you didn't try everything." Cara stated.

"The first thing I had tasted like hot garbage." She grimaced disgusted by the taste still haunting her taste bugs.

"It was the lemon squares wasn't it?" Cara replied bitterly.

Sugar shook her head.

"Rhubarb pie?" Fighter asked. "That had a bit of- kick to it."

"No thanks, I'd rather not have worms working my stomach." Sugar scoffed.

"Meh, it wasn't that bad." He rubbed his stomach unconsciously.

"What doesn't kill you might induce soul-shattering diarrhea." Sara jeered as she bit into her cookie.

Cara and Fighter recoiled backward each of them had a disgusted look on their faces.

"On that note, I'm stealing your cookies." Sugar stated.

"Be my guest dear, tell me how delicious they are." Gay smirked pridefully.

She jumped up and grabbed one out of the picnic basket.

"Please, don't flatter yourself, honey bun." Sugar bit into the cookie and paused. She silently chewed the cookie, it tasted watery but sweet, it crumbled in her mouth softly. Sooo savory...Her mouth was watering. She wiped her mouth and glanced over to the Audrey and Athena, Both were standing near the large gorillas beside a table with her tray of food on top, As her eyes wondered she saw the brown tip of a monkeys yellow tail, her brother must be sneaking around for food.

She rolled her eyes as her gaze shifted to Audrey talking to a mongoose.

"Hello, dear." She reached out to shake her hand.

The mongoose gave a blank stare at the Koala hand, she reluctantly withdrew back.

"No hard feelings. Honestly, I didn't think you'd come, I'd thought you'd be busy?" Audrey stated sheepishly. Tali gave the bear a blank stare, she grinned vexed.

"Oh don't you worry your pretty,' She coughed to mask the word. '(Obnoxious), head. I've got friends to help me baby sit."

"Well, don't you worry, dear. If you need any help with raising your cubs look no further".

Athena sighed, _Where is that lazy, dolt? We need to start investigating_. She pulled out her phone.

"Give me a copy of the picture, crop it please." Audrey asked causing her roll her eyes, she handed her a cookie on the table, then Audrey handed Tali a cookie.

Tail blinked, "I wouldn't have my cubs near you. Period." Her tone was dry, something the koala could only wish her lemon squares weren't.

"Oi, Crabby!"

Audrey narrowed her brow in anger at the sound of her voice. Sugar grinned coyly seeing she wasn't bothering to acknowledge her outburst. Again, she didn't care, it made things easier.

"Throw you soapy cookies in the garbage, this stuff is the tits!" She held another cookie over her head taunting her as she gobbled it down. She peered at the corner of her eyes and notice her brother biting into a lemon square and immediately regretting it.

Gay smirked smugly, but tilted his head away while the others snickered mischievously. Audrey's eye twitched as she crushed the cookie in her paw. She whipped around and headed over to the gorillas.

A scowl formed below her dainty, black nose. "Dump the beans." She asked as she walked past them.

Tali peered over to a picnic table where the noise came from and started walking.

"Was that necessary?" Cara rose her brow dubiously.

"Yes, it was. I'm now vindicated with no causalities." She replied cheekily.

 _Yet. Glaring over at Audrey with the Gorilla's carry her pot of food. Oh hell no..._ _She thought_ _._

 _Sugar noticed Fighter leering at her and looked away._

"Oh, Gay your cookies kick ass. Good choice with replacing the vanilla extract with maple syrup".

"Ohh, you noticed. Thank you!" He smirked.

"So you said something about a meeting before?" Cara looked concerned.

"Is it important? Did we need to bring something? Did we need to dress more- Can I-"

"Book review." Gay interrupted.

Fighter snorted at the bear's anxiety, it was adorable.

"Oh, what's the book?" She looked curious.

"A poor man's Romeo and Juliet...in space." Fighter gave a blank stare.

"That sounds interesting..." Cara seemed hopeful.

"It's not save your breath, It fell apart at the third act." Fighter reassured as he rose his finger up defiantly. Sara snickered as a couple of animals found their way to the table.

Gay quickly got up and grabbed his picnic basket to serve them food. Each of them lined up for Gay to hand them each a cookie. The group still chatted as the animals left with baked goods in their mouths, paws and pouches respectively.

"That's cold." Cara replied.

"Hey, aside from Gay, anyone who liked that garbage is an idiot." He folded his arms.

"Rude," She paused. "Why'd you read it then?" Cara asked.

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "...I read it to Tali, for a couple of nights…"

"Ooooohhh!" They all chirped in glee.

"What? She didn't have the time to read it." He looked away.

"Oh I bet." Sara rolled her eyes knowingly.

He narrowed his brow. "Get your minds out of the gutter!"

Sugar chortled, and got big goofy grin on her face.

"Must of loved having you around, with your: Big, spicy, Italian Saus-".

"I read the book and nothing ELSE _."_ He gritted his teeth tensely, instinctively crossing his legs for good measure. Sugar giggled at his response.

"Mmmhmm."

"Wouldn't she not wanna come at all? She seemed like the recluse type?" Gay asked curiously as he sat down with the group.

"She's trying to be civil, in her own way. I respect it." He nodded.

"But I doubt she's coming at all".

Sugar smirked smugly as she saw an animal walking behind them.

He glanced at the monkey suspiciously. "What are you so happy about?"

"Your blindness, B.S." Tali tapped his shoulder.

He turned his head around and smiled softly at his friend.

"I'm glad I was wrong. I'll get you some food". Fighter rose up and walked up to the table and opened the tin.

"How's the cubs?" Gay asked sincerely.

"They're causing me constant pain and suffering the likes which I've never known...So, good, mostly". She grinned sardonically sitting at the spot Fighter was.

"At least you get a break." Cara stated.

"I've got _her_ to thank for that." She stared at the bear bringing her dish.

Fighter brought her a small bowl with pasta and meat balls. "Enjoy."

"Thank you, if your wondering, It's was the elder wolf.". She answered.

"A bet Clyde's having the time of his life."

She inspected the dish, the pasta was flat, ribbon like. She brought her spoon to her mouth and tried the dish. The pasta had a sweet taste that accompanied it as well, a minty sensation. There even was a hard gritty texture within the dish, there was a clear substance on the meatballs. It tasted nutty and fruity. After that moment of her taste buds started to flare, she devoured the dished unceremoniously. Slurping and munching all the way.

"Huh, that's how that feels." Gay squinted in curiosity.

"Oh yeah, you with face and snipped ear." Sugar stated rudely.

He rose his brow dubiously.

"You teach me how to make that."

"No." He said flatly.

"I'll pay you." She waved forty dollars in front of his face.

He glared at her silence. Then pocketed the money.

"...Fine".

"Whore..." Sara added as she whispered it into his ear.

"Just because I want money for _my_ time doesn't make me a harlot."

"You're right...It makes you a gold digger." Cara said as she grabbed another cookie.

The group cackled at Cara's comment.

"Et tu, Cara?" Fighter gave a sullen expression.

She gave a tearful expression, regretting the joke.

He quickly smirked mischievously."No, that was a good burn. Wouldn't expect it from you." She glowered at him and pinched his cheek, "Ouch, stop that!" he pleaded.

"Don't play with _my_ emotions." She stated.

"Believe me, it's the worst thing you could do." Sara explained.

There was a loud screeching noise that interrupted their merrymaking.

"Greetings everyone! it's time for the book review this month!" Audrey announced holding a megaphone. At the back end of the zoo near entrance. The groups started to gather together where the Koala resided holding the blue book, with Athena beside her, they all were in a small circle.

"Now be honest with me, how did you all enjoy it?" She asked.

Two monkeys rose their hands impatiently, a third one beside them looked disinterested.

Sugar glanced at the trio knowingly. _I swear I've seen these one's before…_

One of the monkey stood up, "It was good! I loved the new setting!" The second female monkey stated.

There was a dry grimace from the crowd followed by a cough, it was from the mongoose, she looked around sheepishly.

"Oh I loved the part where Romeo flew over the moon to save Juliet from her father!" The first monkey from the trio stated.

"That-That's incredibly stupid." The third monkey spoke with a look of disappointment.

Sugar slapped her forehead and sighed _._

 _Oh crap, it's the valley girls and the oddball_. She narrowed her brow.

"Diane, you wouldn't know a good book if it was thrown at your flat-forehead."

"I know when something is tripe." She replied dryly.

A chortle was heard from one of the animals.

"You always suck out the fun out of things." The first one mocked.

"She wishes she could do that well." The second followed the first jeers.

"Girls, let's get back to topic." Audrey asked, her plea was not taken to heart.

"At least I'm not a bloody little tramp." Diane stated.

"Oh hell no". The first exclaimed bitterly, but then she gave a pleasant smirk.

"At least I know, Late at night when _he_ sleeps alone his bed, he's thinking about me…"

Diane blinked, she froze.

"I made sure of it".

"Uhhh...Anyone one gonna stop this?" Gay stated he looked at Fighter, he clasped his paws and rose them up.

He wasn't touching this.

Sugar put her finger up to his lips. "Sshhh, this is getting good".

"Mmmhmm". Sara nodded. Cara shook her head disappointed.

"Your just a dull, plain, mammal with no _backbone…_ " She stated coldly.

Diane glanced at the monkey, it seemed to be a look of subdued scorn. "Hmm." Her tone was restraint, as if she was chagrined with something. She calmly got up from her spot and started to walk off.

"Tina. You don't think that a was little..." The second one squinted dubiously at her.

"Please, she'll be fine".

"Now, that's done can we stick to the novel?" Athena stated coolly, she looked discouraged judging by her scowl. The female monkeys sat down as the circle was quiet, understandably, luckily someone decided to break the ice.

"The book was...a good read." Gay sounded uneasy as he gave a plastic smile.

Athena clasped her paws together and smiled pleased. "Ohh, thank you."

"It sure took up a lot of my time". Gay stated.

"Question," Audrey turned to Tali. "Why did the setting need to be changed?"

"Because the original was a droll waste of time." She stated proudly.

A snort came from the group again.

Gay glanced at Fighter knowingly. "Don't" he whispered.

"That didn't answer my-"

"Thank you all for the feedback. I'm glad to know that my final draft exceeded my expectations." She smirked cheekily.

Tali gave the Koala a hostile glare, she was holding back her venom, for now. However, such restraint was not found in another. "That was...Your final? Hmm hmm hmm...ha ha ha HAAAA HA HA HA!" Fighter brayed with boisterous glee as he held his stomach tightly.

 _That laugh...I wish had my phone_. _I'd probably be my ring tone._ Sugar smirked.

The animals stared at the bear blankly at the creepy laughter. Some recoiling back in their spots, "Freaking weirdos." The kangaroo stated. Even the gorilla's paused and looked at the bear oddly.

"Get the punch, now. They're getting squirrelly". The Second gorilla lept up and dashed out of the group circle to group some refreshments.

As he started to wind down he noticed the groups odd stares, he coughed and patted his chest awkwardly. Gay face-palmed and shook his head.

 _Damn it_. _I thought today would be normal._ _He thought_ _._

"It was garbage, sad to say." Fighter stated with a deadpan expression.

The female monkey's glared at the bear darkly at his comment.

"I'm sorry, what?" Audrey asked dumbfounded.

"The book was terrible, it barely held up. The only reason it resembled something palpable was because it was based off something else."

Audrey blinked dubiously. "You can't be serious? What about the nuanced characters?" She stated worried.

"Wooden." He replied frankly earning chuckles from the group around them.

"The events?" He gave her a wistful look, unpleased at the question. "There was a shootout for Juliet that Romeo started, after she was dead, _Months_ after the funeral, there was no build up!" He switched to a languid expression as he felt distressed.

"I liked that part..." Tina said narrowing her brow.

"But-"

"I get you wanted it to be original, but the only thing new was the setting, and nothing was gained from it!" He held his stomach as he felt something fierce. He rose his paw apprehensively while loosing his tie. "Listen toots-"

Athena glared at the bear. "Did you just call her toots? What are you old mobster?" He gave a glazed expression her paw on reflex went to her side.

"No, no. I allow it, it's a term of endearment". She leered while grinning meaningfully into the bear's eyes. Athena shivered in response.

Fighter grimaced. _Damn it, wrong choice of words..._ He held his stomach.

"One word: MEDIOCRE." His stomach gurgled before he sat down, earning a disappointed glance from Gay.

Audrey's eyes bulged as the words slowly entered her head and echoed, she briefly gave a hollow expression. However, what brought her out of her trance was a single noise, the sound that only her brought a small upheaval of pure undiluted anger to which she could only hold in for so long, like a dam holding back the water of a rushing current.

"Ha Ha, He He Ha, Bha ha ha ah!" Sugar brayed in delight at the woman's distress.

"Hey, punch is here." The gorilla pointed to another one carrying a large bowl over his head with one arm and paper cups in the other. He walked over to him.

"What took you?" He asked.

"Couldn't find the bowl". He sounded unsure. The first one shook his head disappointed.

"You got want you wanted". Athena stated while she glanced at the duo setting up the punch bowl.

Audrey sighed knowingly. "Right, thank you all for the... Critique. Have some punch".

The groups dispersed, each of them wandering to the punch bowl for drinks. The gorillas served them each with red cup with punch, as the animals got their refreshments the gorilla with the ladle jostled the other gorilla. He pointed to the single female monkey with a pink bow batting her eyes at the ape while smiling seductively at him.

"I've got this keep serving." He trod over to the monkey giving her a suspicious glare. His partner glanced at the two conversing while a couple of boars lined up.

"One for my mate." The large male boar asked the drink bubbled before he tilted the cup into the mouth of the smaller one, keeping his eye on his partner.

"You see this?" He flexed his bicep, it was the size of her head, she looked genuinely frightened at first she tilted her past the his bicep. "I could crush you, stick to the same species woman". He said coldly as he walked back.

She seemed disappointed as a boar couple was passing through as well. She watched her friend, Tina walking from the punch bowl as she fixed her dress causally. She gave a meaningful glance as she smirked knowingly. The trap had been set.

 _Next time, that jerk should keep his mouth shut_. She peered over to the couple as Tina made her way over to them.

"Darn it, I'm hungry again". The female boar growled.

"Ooooh, my I suggest the yellow one's bake goods, they are scrumptious." Tina said.

The boat picked up happily as she heard that as the male nodded and thanked her. She watched the couple walk over to a picnic table and nodded with a pensive expression. The bear group had just managed to finish grabbing their drinks.

"Did you have to do that?" Gay asked, he sat on the picnic bench with his full cup in hand.

"She had it coming. Best laugh I've gotten in while." Sugar patted the bear on his back.

Fighter's stomach gurgled loudly as he held it cautiously. "What's the matter?" She stared at the bear curiously.

"Pie is not sitting well with me." He rubbed his belly.

"Aww, you want me to make it feel better." She tickled his belly softly.

He swatted her paws away. "I'm going to bathroom. Hold the fort, Gay."

He smiled and saluted jokingly as the bear ran to the bathroom quickly.

"Told him it would cost him" Sara narrowed her brow.

"Uh huh". Cara drank some of her punch from her red cup.

Sugar glared at the two and slung her arm around the two forcefully causing the two to drop their drinks on the ground. Tali stepped backward to avoid it spilling on her.

"Come on, that shit was priceless". Sugar glanced at the two.

"Great". Sara spoke in a sour tone.

"At least it didn't get on you, stains suck on fur". Sugar spoke from experience.

"Eh, it's not worse than blood". Tali added occasionally swirling her cup around.

"True". She replied earning an odd look from Cara as she held her head.

As they continued to converse two boars past them. One of boars waddled along to the picnic table, while the other followed closely.

"Two of your best chocolate chips please". The larger one said.

Gay reached into the basket and pulled out one, nearly knocking over his fizzling drink. "Unlucky, I've got one left". The male nodded.

"Honey you can have it. I've had my fill".

Gay leaned forward and gave the female boar a cookie. She gobbled it down with ease as she perked up with glee. The boar smacked her lips as the male had sweat drip down his brow. Tali glanced at the boar and knew he was thirsty she glanced at her drink bubbling in her paw and narrowed her brow.

"You look parched, you want some?" She asked the boar, he didn't even hesitate.

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" Sugar cheered the boar as he tilted his head toward Tali as she tilted the drink into the boar's mouth, the punch went down smoothly into his stomach leading him to burp loudly as he was done. He thanked the mongoose and started to walk away with his mate to the middle of the park, he turned back to look at his mate to see her barely managing to keep up, she was stumbling back and forth.

"Honey, are you?" The female boar lurched forward with enough force to make the ground shake for a moment around him. He peered down to her eyes glazed over with her tongue hanging out. The rest of the animals looked at the scene, curious about the couple, Gay covered his mouth in shock as he got up from the bench and ran over, Tali and Sugar following suit while Cara and Sara stood there and watched.

Audrey and Athena walked over to the couple, Athena was holding two pies in her paws. "Is everything alright?" She asked concerned.

"She just collapsed, right here. I doo-don't know what happun?" He stammered, it was getting harder to speak for him.

"Maybe she ate something that upset her stomach?" Athena stated dubiously.

Audrey glanced over to the table with the bear's table and then shifted to yellow bear.

"I hate to point fingers here but-"

"Hey! I only use natural ingredients it took me a month to get this brand of syrup.

"Still-" Audrey looked between the two suspiciously as she cupped her chin, she couldn't rule it out.

"You sure it's not your garbage that did it?" Sugar glared at the Koala, she knew first hand about the dank cookie she was given.

Audrey glared back at the monkey sternly.

"What was the last thing she ate?"

The boar lazily brought up his hoof and pointed to Gay. The crowds gasped in shock at the revelation.

"Hmm, I wonder if this foul play?" She surmised as she brought together the evidence.

 _Damn it. Not again_. Athena mentally cursed as she watched the boar's eyes they were started to grow unfocused.

"That yellow snowflake,' Sugar pointed to Gay. He stuck his tongue disgusted. 'Couldn't possibly have poisoned that boar's food". Audrey folded her arms and continued to stare at the monkey as if to say: prove it.

"I ate from him and I'm golden." She reassured the animals murmured around her.

"Huh, what a coincidence. I'm sure your bad taste-bugs saved you from the loss of motor functions all this time." She smirked confidently.

Sugar gave her a deathly stare, she had enough. She spoke calmly as she crossed her arms proudly and just as she finished her statement the boar dropped on the ground with a loud thud causing Sugar to pause and glance at the animal.

Sugar sighed. "Alright haggy, give me any of your goods here. I'll show you that my tastes aren't shit". She smirked right back. The audacity made Audrey sick to her stomach, her face cringed for a moment before she glanced at Athena. She gave the monkey one of her pies.

"What the- Hey what the heck is this?" She pointed to the pie facing inward toward herself. Audrey rolled her eyes and leaned forward to inspect the pie. As this was happening Tali inspected the boar. She could see the red liquid trail from his lips down onto the grass.

"Wait, I think I've seen this before-" Gay stated as he peered over the body.

Audrey looked up at the monkey oddly, what was see pointing to?

"Seriously, you can't see it? Going blind now are you?" She goaded as she kept pointing to the pie. Audrey leaned closer.

"It looks fine-" Then everything went dark as her vision blurred. The classics never failed to bring her more joy than it did now as Sugar, without hesitation, slammed the pie directly into her face causing her to fall back unto the ground on top of the boar. She cackled maliciously, however she tap on her shoulder.

"What? can't take a joke-" Her vision was now obscured by a worm-filled, apple scented desert.

"Eye for eye, you crook". She grinned as the pie slid down her face to the ground.

 _That was for my mother_. She thought.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

A female voice shouted as a yellow square was thrown directly at the mongoose inspecting the body, she barely avoided the food by tilting her head to the glanced over to see her attacker, a female monkey from the review. But that was just the beginning as the animals rushed to the respective tables and grabbed a food item with whatever appendage they could grasp with from a kangaroo, monkeys and the like they each armed themselves with ammunition.

All but one did no have that luxury as his eyes widened in shock at the current events.

"AHHH, NOT MY VEST!" Gay shrieked.

Tali whipped around and quickly grabbed the bear again just barely missing being pelted by a pie seconds prior. She lead him to their bench in a mad dash to safety and gave the pink bear a firm glare as they got to the other side of it.

"Table now!" With the help of the Tali and Gay, Sara managed to flip the bench on it's side throwing what was left on the ground. This was their form of protection till the onslaught would cease. She glanced at the violet bear on the grass beside her, she was barely conscious. Then it hit her...The Punch...

Athena growled as she ducked on the grass for cover as the food flew overhead, _Where the hell are the guards_? She glanced down the to edge of the park where the two gorillas were on the ground passed out with the punch bowl empty and the duo passed out on the grass, drool dripping from their mouths. It was already too late….

Evil gazed at the park in awe, a small tear went down his face at the sheer chaos unfolding in front of him but also a pang of sadness. He was supposed to cause this Now he couldn't claim anything, He sniffled while wiping away a tear. The bear dropped his bag to the side and rummaged through it briefly before pulling out a glass and a bottle of red wine. He poured himself a glass and hopped up on the bench with glass in hand as he took his first sip of wine. He laid down on his side and watched the fireworks as the food continued to fly.

The tapping of footsteps caused him to glance away from the carnage to the black bear holding a white vest in his hands and red tie draped around his neck. He took one look at the park, then to Evil lounging on the bench with a wine glass in his paws as he grinned wolfishly.

Fighter inhaled and exhaled as he placed his clothes on the bench. "Room for one more?"

Evil nodded smugly as he watched him rummage through the bag. He pulled out the bottle of wine then dragged the bag with him as he and sat below him with the bottle in hand.

"I bet your mad, I ruined your little shin-dig". Evil tilted the glass to his mouth as he watched the bear.

"Don't flatter yourself, you couldn't cause _this_ in five minutes". He held the bottle in his hand and looked at pensively then to the park.

Evil scoffed "Pft, Killjoy".

"Eh, I'm a realist, give or take". He cracked open the bottle and tilted it toward Evil.

Evil glanced down at the bear with a discerning look, he expected a scowl, maybe a crestfallen look but, what he saw was a mild, laid back expression on his face and a wry chuckle escaping his lips:

"He He He. Couldn't go one day without turmoil?"

Evil rolled his eyes as he tilted his glass as Fighter poured him another.

* * *

"Dad, really?" Spice glanced at his father's beverage.

"What? it's lemonade, there's a time and place for alcohol. It's close to-"

The door to the bar opened with a sour creak as the monkey entered the establishment.

Spice's eyes widened as he grimaced at the state of his sister.

"Oh your back, brought something for us?" Bart didn't even bother to ask her anything, instead he continued to drink his glass of lemonade.

Sugar was covered head to toe in yellow and brown, she spat out worm from her mouth, the duo watched the worm fall to the ground and squirm for a moment, it started to squirm to the counter before Sugar crushed it with her foot, she let a loud frustrated gasp before walking over to table her brother was sitting. He gave his sister an innocent grin, she blinked as she held placed the pie on the table next to her pager and sat down.

The pager began to buzz on the table as she glanced at it: _Found someone willing to buy the fireworks and booze. TTYL_. She grinned in response.

"Good news?" He asked.

She got up from her seat, gave her brother a loving hug. "Aww, you had good day then?"

She swiftly slammed her brother head into the pie with a wicked grin on her face, the pie sticking as he rose up head. Sugar grabbed her pager went to the kitchen.

"Positively perfect, you little coward."


End file.
